For 3 years in the 1980sI was invited to work on the United Church’s National Worship Committee. I was excited about being able to speak on behalf of the frustrations rural churches were having with worship-related expectations of the National Church in a time when the expectation was that we become lectionary-based. What I didn’t realize was that a secondary God-given agenda, that of debate about the ordination of homosexual candidates for ministry, was very much in the hearts of single persons such as myself.
We were invited to meet for several days in Toronto in the Spring and the Fall for each of those 3 years. My room-mate was a delegate from Newfoundland … a person whose presence I very much enjoyed, and a person whose story made my heart ache.
This was an era when she didn’t dare publicly “come out” gay. That meant she had to hide the fact she had a “partner”, and she had to live with the fear her relationship might be exposed at any moment.
Her story made my heart ache for her loneliness because I so enjoyed the sense of ministry I found myself discovering with my own congregations.
Her only choice was to live in the city where her private life would (hopefully) remain hidden. Her choices left her feeling constantly conflicted … Thank goodness we had those nights of talking together in our hotel room. I found myself listening and inviting the unfolding of her story … while she was finding words to express what was at the soul of her being.
We never remained in touch after our 3-year assignment was completed, but I was ever so grateful for the depth of understanding she gave me.
Several years later, while I was attending a gathering at St. Andrew’s College (Saskatoon) someone touched my arm, gave me a lovely smile and indicated we had met before … in Toronto. Even before I had time to say more, I recognized her heart-felt smile. She told me she was in the College for a course … and then she quietly moved off to attend the next class. But our bonding in that moment was instantaneous.
Over those intervening years so much of the Church’s and Society’s thinking about “inclusivity” has matured. In the process not only do I believe I was able to help one special person find her way, but I can affirm how much her story enriched my life. God-given revelations like this are precious beyond words.
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