(My writings try to reflect on the deep spiritual hunger and the rich spiritual heritage that surrounds us in our rural communities.)
I have treasured the opportunities I enjoy as “A Country Preacher” to participate in the unique gifts of rural community life. Many are the times I’ve entered into the very centre of the lives of the people: to cry with them in their pain, to celebrate their joy and enjoy their humour. Along the way we try to name those spiritual sources that help us find strength and meaning. Hopefully we can also catch a deeper vision for our faith-communities that-are-yet-to-be.
These days one of my goals is to try to find the right words to express the way my mom and I often got caught in our differences as she struggled with aging and pain.
While I thought it was important for her to move into a Senior Citizen’s Home, she faced different assumptions. As a result, our clashes ranged between outright disagreement and silent despair. Such negativity is hard on everyone.
Fortunately, a neighbour and his nurse-wife suggested a self-assessment questionnaire that mom could work on with her health team. It was designed to help her make her own decisions about what she was and was-not capable to handling.
With those thoughts in mind, rather than trying to tell her what to do, I was invited to help her make her own decisions about what she might be prepared to handle. That change of attitude made all the difference for both of us.
Such change leads me to ask, again and again, how we learn to “talk-with-each-other” instead of “talking-at-each-other”.
Each day, also, I’m learning more and more from my own experience concerning both the struggles and the gifts that can result from my STROKE – especially as friends and family also learn how to care for me in ways never before required by them. Difficulties with speech and mobility and being easily exhausted top my list of needs.
Recently, at the time of his death, many stories were being told about the work of Jean Vanier. I had always enjoyed learning about his work of sharing with “disabled” adults. He showed us how even the most handicapped of his friends were able to share rich feelings about friendship and caring. Their lives had purpose and meaning and they were capable to making decisions that were important to them…
Any special relationships we can have within our rural communities helps us appreciate the subtleties offered by Vanier’s tender care. There is so much more we could do for each other. The gifts are found in learning to be with and talk with each other, instead of talking at each-other. In this way, the blessing of the Lord is both freely given and graciously received.
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